Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Fish Tank of Life

Can you imagine being a fish?

I mean, really?

I think there are two types of fish. I know you can argue freshwater versus saltwater versus estuary inhabitants, but really, there are just two types: those stuck in a tank, and those swimming free. You could use this analogy with almost any domesticated animal, but I think fish are the best examples. Cats, dogs, horses, etc., can often live in environments that mix the two – horses have pastures instead of being stuck in a stable, dogs can run around town or out in the country much like their wild counterparts, and cats are often outdoor pets, living in barns and hunting to survive. I also seriously considered birds, but there’s so much variety there that I couldn’t justify it. You have flying birds and grounded birds and aquatic birds… They’re different enough that they almost deserve separate qualifications. Fish are fish. Some are carnivores, some are herbivores, and they live in different depths, but there is one striking similarity: they all live in the water.

I read someone else’s blog post today, and it was all about being the best, and I was thinking, “Hm… What’s something I’ve been thinking about lately that can be kinda philosophical?” Then I looked at my fish tank (I have two betta fish named Haku- from Spirited Away- and Howl- from Howl’s Moving Castle. They live in a divided tank, and they’re absolutely beautiful to watch.), and it hit me.

I’ve been in this constant turmoil about my major and what kind of job I want to work in, and I can TOTALLY relate to the blog I read about wanting to be the best, because I do. I really do. I could go into the debate of being the best versus being my best, but I feel like they both approach the same thing. Once you reach your best at that moment, you find that you can always be better, because there is always someone out there that is greater than you, and if you keep learning, you’ll get closer and closer to being the best because your best will just keep growing. Does that make sense? So yes, I believe in being your best, but even that’s not a solid goal because you are always changing, and the best you can be at one moment is not necessarily the best you can be… Ever.

I’m afraid of being the fish that’s trapped in the tank. I don’t want to be that betta that sits in its little environment never knowing that there’s an entire ocean out there to explore. I don’t want to see the same dragon tears and fish flakes every day for the rest of my life. I want to go out and swim where my life may take me, in spite of the sharks, misleading currents, and murky depths I encounter. If I live in my fish tank, it’s a lot safer to just exist, but I’m too easily bored. But I do like the security of knowing that I have a fish tank and some blood worms with my name on them. I want to find a career where I can mix my ocean and my fish tank, kind of like a clown fish with its anemone. I wanna just keep swimming, swimming, swimming… But always have a place to come home to that I know is home. Now I just have to find a major that will put me in a field where that exists. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

P.S. Judging by my view of fish, I’m thinking marine biology’s not the way to go. XP 

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