Honduras

1. Just landed!
2. Oh my God. This place is beautiful.
3. I feel like a fish out of water, but I’ll be damned if I don’t learn how to swim on land.
4. I love everyone I have had the privilege to meet here.
5. “We love you even when you don’t understand.” Ana and Molvin almost made me cry.
6. Never did I think I would get to say, “We’re all gonna die, to Javier’s driving. Victory is mine.
7. There is something special about these people
8. Confession: I really enjoy dancing… By myself. In my room. Where no one can see me. I really suck at it. XD
9. I got to see Javier and the group dance on stage! Saw most through a camera while videoing, but I made sure to look up so I could see it for real (Sorry about the shaky footage!). It was also Francisco’s first time dancing on stage.
10. This is the only time you will hear me say a word about this. I am so frustrated. I wish I understood what was happening, but I can’t. And I wish the others didn’t have to use English just because of me. I want to be able to tell these amazing people just how amazing they are, but I don’t know how.
11. I love knowledge and the pursuit of it, but I would rather have a kind heart any day.
12. To all those I call my brother, sister, or close friend: I give a crap. When you’re exhausted, sad, frustrated, worried, excited… I care. Sometimes I suck at listening or miss a text, but know that I love you. The things you tell me when you’re crying or when you’ve had it up to here… I remember them because they’re important to you. There’s a reason that I keep popcorn on hand (because it makes you feel better like nothing else does); that I poke fun at the sounds you make crying on the phone (because it makes you laugh and forget what’s going on, just for a second); that I don’t hug you when you cry (because it only makes you cry harder); and so many other little things.. I’m here and I love you. Thank you for always being there. I’m honestly not sure what I would do without you in my life.
13. I hate seeing the people I care about all stressed out, upset, and exhausted. Especially when I can do nothing to help.
14. Holy cow! I’ve been here for more than a week. Time goes by SO fast.
15. So… I danced. More than once. And it was a lot of fun!
16. Tonight brought back so many good memories…Atol (I think that’s what it was called) is this really creamed, smooth corn soup/mush… It reminds me of my papa. Fresh corn anything was my childhood. I know they didn’t mean to bring back all the memories, but I’m so glad they did. J
17. Wow. Tonight’s my last night in La Esperanza. This has been, without a doubt, one of my favorite experiences in life so far, and I got to share it with a friend (well, really… He shared it with me. Thank you, Javier!).
18. I have always hated goodbyes, but watching them hurt someone else…. Sucks. L
19. A mis amigos de Honduras, no pude hablar con ustedes cuando fui alla, pero les quiero. Gracias por su Amistad, especialmente cuando no entendi. Nunca lo olvide.

Overload Extreme

This semester is crazy. Crazy.

• I am taking 17 credit hours, which is more than I have ever taken at one time.
• I am in a position similar to that of an RA, but instead I'm working with residents on academic things. It's A LOT less stress and fewer hours, but it's still new and time-consuming.
• I live in the freshman building to do that job. Talk about chaos.
• I also started a second job, also new, in the tutoring center on campus. I work there 11 hours per week.
• Now let's add one more thing. I am designing (EEP! :D) costumes for the first time this semester, which means a lot of research hours and a weekly production meeting, plus the physical act of pulling costumes and (heaven forbid) making them. 

I don't know our staff very well, but I've made a couple friends. One staff member lived on campus this summer as well, so we became pretty good friends, and I had my friend Nicole on campus too, which was good. But now that my best friends are back on campus, I really just want to spend time with them, but I can't. And Summer-friend feels like I have a grudge against being in Scanlon when two of my best friends were placed on V-Hall staff which, to be honest, I guess I do. Because I'm not actually an RA, I don't feel like I fit in with the others, but I'm still here, so I feel alone a lot. And it's only been three class days, but I'm already stressed and haven't seen my best friends, and I'm super terrified that I'm going to lose them, and I just want time with them. But they rarely text me, and I don't want to be that creepy needy friend. I keep hoping they'll text me occasionally too, but they don't. I don't know if it's just because they're as busy as I am or if they're just all together, so my absence isn't a huge deal... I miss them a lot. And I can't even vent about it in real life because it hurts Summer-friend's feelings (which I totally understand and don't want to do, because she is my friend). So instead I'm sitting in my room at 2:30 in the morning crying because I feel like I'm going to lose all of my non-freshman/non-math/non-theatre friends this semester, and it kills me. And it feels like it's already started. 

Sorry this is so whiny. I just don't know where to vent, and this seemed like the safest place to go because Nicole and Rachel are the only people who follow me, so it's not like anyone else will see it. Haha. 

Good night guys.